€ H I CAGO* 

WE  DRAMATIC  PUBLISHING  GGMPANtf* 


PRACTICAL  INSTRUCTIONS 

FOR 

PRIVATE  THEATRICALS 

By  W.  D.  EMERSON. 

Author  of  “A\Country  Romance, ” “The  Unknown  Rival.”  “Hum- 
ble Pie,”  etc. 

Price,  25  cents. 

Here  is  a practical  hand-book,  describing  in  detail  all  the  ac- 
cessories, properties,  scenes  and  apparatus  necessary  for  an  ama- 
teur production.  In  addition  to  the  descriptions  in  words,  every- 
thing is  clearly  shown  in  the  numerous  pictures,  more  than  one- 
hundred  being  inserted  in  the  book.  No  such  useful  book  has 
ever  been  offered  to  the  amateur  players  of  any  country. 

CONTENTS. 

Chapter  I.  Introductory  Remarks. 

Chapter  II.  Stage,  How  to  Make,  etc.  m drawing-rooms 
or  parlors,  with  sliding  or  hinged  doors.  In  a single  large  room. 
The  Curtain;  how  to  attach  it,  and  raise  it,  etc. 

Chapter  III.  Arrangement  of  Scenery.  How  to  hang  it. 
Drapery,  tormentors,  wings,  borders,  drops. 

Chapter  IV.  Box  Scenes.  Center  door  pieces,  plain  wings, 
door  wings,  return  pieces,  etc. 

Chapter  V.  How  to  Light  the  Stage.  Oil,  gas  and  electric 
lights.  Footlights,  Sidelights,  Reflectors.  How  to  darken  the 
stage,  etc. 

Chapter  YI.  Stage  Effects.  Wind,  Rain,  Thunder,  Break- 
ing Glass,  Falling  Buildings,  Snow,  Water,  Waves,  Cascades, 
Passing  Trains,  Lightning,  Chimes,  Sound  of  Horses’  Hoofs,  Shots. 

Chapter  VII.  Scene  Painting. 

Chapter  VIII.  A Word  to  the  Property  Man. 

Chapter  IX.  To  the  Stage  Manager. 

Chapter  X.  The  Business  Manager. 

« 

Address  Orders  to 

THE  DRAMATIC  PUBLISHING  COMPANY, 

CHICAGO. 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO? 


^ Comebretta. 


IN  ONE  ACT. 


Br  JOHN  M.  MORTON,  Esq. 

Author  of  “ Lend  Me  Fcne  Shillings''  “ Your  Life's  in  Danger,"  “ Box  and  Cox,"  “ Poor 
Pillicoddy k-  iV/j/  Wife's  Second  Floor,"  “ Wedding  Breakfast 
“ Slasher  and  Crasher,"  “ Tiv  > Bonny  castles," 

“ Midnight  Watch,"  etc.,  etc. 


TO  WHICH  IS  ADDED 


A DESCRIPTION  OF  THE  COSTUMES — CAST  OF  THE  CHARACTERS — EN- 
TRANCES AND  EXITS— RELATIVE  POSITIONS  OP  THE  PER 
FORMERS  ON  THE  STAGE,  AND  THE  WHOLE 
OF  THE  STAGE  BUSINESS. 


CHICAGO: 

THE  DRAMATIC  PUBLISHING  COMPANY. 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO  ? 


9 


CAST  OF  CHARACTERS. 

Baron  Mullendorf  (Governor  of  the  Imperial  Pages) 

Major  Krackwitz  (Governor  of  the  Military  Prison) 

IMPERIAL  PAGES. 


Alexis  Bettmann 
Paul  Bettmann . . . 

Rodolpli 

Louis 

Sigismund 

Charles 

Frederick 

Cassimir 


(Twin  Brothers.) 


Officers,  Soldiers,  Cossacks. 
Foedora  (Daughter  of  Baron  Mullendorf) 
Katinka  (a  Servant) 


•Mr.  J.  Bland. 

.Mr.  J.  H.  Turner. 


.Miss  M.  Simpson. 
.Miss  G.  Saunders. 
Miss  Turtle. 

Miss  Gilbert. 
.Miss  Henkade. 
Miss  Hulet. 

Miss  Ledger. 

Miss  Hamilton. 

.Miss  F.  Hughe3. 
.Miss  M.  Wilton. 


Scene— AN  INN  IN  A SMALL  MILITARY  TOWN  IN  RUSSIA. 


Door. 


Poor. 

X 

r 

Door. 


SCENERY. 

Scene.— Public  Room  of  an  Inn. 
| Door.  | 


Table  and  Chair. 

O 


Table  and  Benches. 


Door. 


Door. 


Door. 


Several  doors,  numbered,  on  each  side,  supposed  to  lead  to  sleeping  apartments— 
large  c.  door— table  and  benches,  l.,  with  bottles,  drinking-cups,  pipes,  matches, 
etc.— cards,  dice,  table,  chair,  r.— writing  materials. 


PROPERTIES. 

Bottles,  drinking-cups,  pipes,  matches,  etc. ; cards,  dice  ; writing  materials,  letters  ; 
tray  with  supper  things ; very  large  letter  ; bill  for  dinper ; paper  describing 
prisoner  ; brace  of  pistols ; bunch  of  ribbons ; ring ; large  sheet  of  paper  with 
writing  on.  f_For  Costumes , etc.,  seepage  20.] 


I 


i 


£X~l 

/a- 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO  ? 


SCENE. — Public  Boom  of  an  Inn. 

Paul,  Louis,  Rodolph,  Charles,  Frederick,  Sigismund,  Cassimir,  efc.y 

are  discovered  seated,  drinking. 

Paul.  Come,  comrades,  our  last  and  crowning  toast,  the  health  of  our 
gracious,  noble,  and  indulgent  master,  the  Emperor! 

Paul  and  Pages  {rising).  Long  live  the  Emperor  ! Hurrah!  hurrah! 
{they  imply  iJvir  glasses , Paul,  Louis  and  Rodolph  come  forward , the  others 
light  their  pipes . play  at  cards,  dice,  etc.) 

Louis  (r.).  Well,  Paul,  what  tidings  of  your  brother,  our  worthy  com- 
rade, Alexis  ? 

Paul  (c.).  Poor  fellow!  lie’s  still  under  arrest,  by  the  Emperor’s 
orders. 

Rodolph  (l.).  In  other  words,  he  still  refuses  to  confess  how  he  has 
expended  his  last  year's  pay,  amounting  to  three  thou -and  rubles? 

Paul  Ye s;  even  I,  his  brother,  who  have  the  greatest  claim  to  his 
confidence,  am  as  much  in  the  dark  as  yourselves,  gentlemen.  Alexis 
will  keep  his  secret,  depend  upon  it. 

Rod.  And  his  prison  too,  depend  upon  it.  The  Czar  will  be  inexor- 
able. 

Paul.  The  Czar  has  already  proved  himself  to  be  so,  by  refusing  my 
poor  brother’s  earnest  prayer  to  be  allowed  two  short  hours  of  liberty, 
to  join  in  our  attack  on  the  enemy’s  position  last  night. 

Rod.  By-the-bye  is  it  true  that  his  majesty’s  person  was  in  danger 
during  the  engagement  ? 

Paul.  Most  unquestionably.  Carried  away  by  his  impetuous  courage, 
he  suddenly  found  himself  engaged  almost  single  handed  with  a numer- 
ous body  of  the  enemy’s  cavalry,  and  would  inevitably  have  been  either 
killed  or  taken  prisoner,  but  for  the  heroic  devotion  of  one  of  his 
pages. 

Lou.  } 

Rod.  > One  of  his  pages  ? ( all  hurrying  down,  and  surrounding  Paul.) 

Pages.  ) 

Rod.  What  an  honor  for  our  corps!  But  which  of  our  companions 
had  this  glorious  slice  of  good  fortune  ? 

Paul.  The  darkness  of  the  night  did  not  allow  the  Emperor  to  recog- 
nize his  preserver’s  features,  but  his  majesty  drew  a ring  from  his  finger, 
and  placed  it  on  that  of  his  deliverer. 

Rod.  In  that  case,  he  cannot  fail  to  receive  substantial  proofs  of  the 
Emperor  s gratitude.  In  the  mean  time  (going  to  table,  l.)  we  will  drink 
his  health,  comb  ned  with  another  toast— namely,  a speedy  deliverance 
to  our  dear  comrade,  Alexis  (the  Pages  all  join  in  drinking  the  toast , with 
loud  hurrahs.) 


4 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO  ? 


Paul.  Thanks,  thanks  ! 

Rod.  His  presence  amongst  us  is  now  doubly  desirable,  since  the  re* 
cent  appointment  of  our  new  governor,  that  odious  Baron  Mullendorf, 
whom  we  all  detest  so  cordially. 

Paul  \n  other  words,  Rodolph,  you  would  like  to  avail  yourself  of 
the  extraordinary  resemblance  between  Alexis  and  myself,  to  mystify 
the  aforesaid  “odious  baron.”  Ha,  ha,  ha!  well,  the  similarity  of  our 
features  has  certainly  caused  a very  considerable  amount  of  confusion 
already,  and  it  is  reported  that  on  that  account  the  Emperor  is  at  length 
fully  determined  to  separate  us. 

Lou.  Indeed ! that  may,  then,  account  for  your  mysterious  disappear- 
ance for  the  last  week.  Where  the  deuce  have  you  been  1 

Paul  {quietly).  In  prison. 

Rod.  For  what  offence  ? 

Paul.  None  whatever.  I was  there  simply  as  an  amateur.  The  fact 
is,  knowing  poor  Alexis  was  desperately  in  love,  I determined  he  should 
have  a few  days  liberty.  I therefore  went  to  see  him  in  prison,  and 
thanks  to  our  resemblance,  I so  far  imposed  upon  his  jailer,  who,  in  the 
absence  of  the  commandant,  wa>  left  in  charge,  as  to  take  his  place; 
so  that  while  Alexis  was  endeavoring  to  discover  the  “lady  of  his 
love,”  I was  quietly  munching  his  dry  bread,  and  swallowing  his  cold 
water  in  his  stead.  However,  my  fraternal  devotion  was  entirely 
thrown  away,  as  when  Alexis  returned  to  his  prison,  he  might  just  as 
well  have  stopped  in  it,  for  he  had  not  succeeded  in  obtaining  the  slight- 
est trace  of  her  he  loved. 

Rod.  (l.).  By  the  bye,  Paul,  how  do  your  love  affairs  progress  ? 

Paul  (c.).  Well,  ( conceitedly ) I’ve  nothing  to  complain  of.  They  are, 
perhaps  to  be  distinguished  by  a certain  fascination  of  person  and  man- 
ners— 

Pages.  Ha,  ha ! well  said,  Paul ! 

Lou.  (r.).  One  wou  d suppose  he  fell  in  love  with  every  woman  he 
saw ! 

Paul.  No — understand  me.  I do  not  run  after  the  women — the 
women  run  after  me  ! It’s  a melancholy  fact,  but  they  will  run  after  me 
For  instance,  the  female  domestic  of  this  rustic  inn,  the  pretty  Kat- 
iuka,  she’s  very  desperately  smitten,  indeed— but  as  I say  to  her,  “My 
good  girl,  if  you  can’t  resist  my  personal  attractions,  don’t  fret,  it’s  your 
misfortune,  not  your  fault.” 

Pages.  Ha,  ha,  ha ! 

Rod.  {aside).  Was  there  ever  such  a conceited  puppy  ? 

Lou.  {reside).  There  never  was  such  an  intolerable  coxcomb  ? {the  Pages 
all  retire,  laughing,  up  the  stage,  leaving  Paul  alone) 

The  door,  l.  1 e.,  opens,  and  Fcedora  enters  veiled — sees  Paul. 

Foe.  {aside).  ’Tis  he  ! {rapidly  advancing,  c.,  and  grasps  Paul’s  arm — l. 
c.,  in  a loud  and  earnest  whisper)  Well  1 

Paul  (r.,  astonished)  Well? 

Fce.  I’ve  found  you  at  last ! 

Paul  {aside).  She  says  she’s  found  me  at  last  ! 

Fce.  I have  been  anxiously  waiting  for  an  opportunity  of  speaking  to 
you  since  yesterday  morning. 

Paul  {bothered).  Have  you?  {aside)  I haven’t  the  most  distant  idea 
who  she  is,  or  what  she  means  1 {by  this  time  the  Pages  have  seen  her — 
they  point  at  her , and  whisper  together .) 

Fce.  Of  course  you  have  heard  all  about  it  ? 


WHICH  OJF  THE  TWO  ? 


5 


Paul  (aside).  It!  what  does  she  mean  by  “ it  (aloud)  Yes,  of  course 
I have. 

Fce.  (nettled).  It  doesn’t  seem  to  distress  you  much  ! 

Paul  {aside).  Oh,  I ought  to  be  distressed  ! very  well,  (aloud)  Yes,  it 
does,  it  distresses  me  intensely. 

Fce.  Then  of  course  you’ll  take  immediate  steps  to  prevent  it? 

Paul  (<<s ide).  It  again  ! (still  more  bothered)  Of  course  I shall,  (aside)  The 
fog’s  getting  thicker  and  thicker  ! 

Fce.  Don’t  you  think  you  had  better  confess  everything  at  once  to  my 
father  ? 

Paul.  No  doubt  about  it ! (aside)  Who  is  her  father  7 

Fce  For  I need  not  say,  1 won’t  marry  him  ! 

Paul  (aside).  Marry  her  father  ? I should  think  not ! 

Fce.  In  the  first  place,  he’s  at  least  twice  my  age. 

Paul.  Well  I should  say  he  must  be,  at  the  very  least. 

Fce.  Then  he  has  been  married  before  ? 

Paul  ("side).  If  he  hasn’t,  he  ought  to  have  been. 

Fce.  Besides,  he’s  such  a horrid  fright. 

Paul,  (aside).  She’s  not  very  complimentary,  or  respectful  either,  to 
the  author  of  her  being. 

Fce.  Besides,  you — you  never  would — you  never  could  see  me  become 
Madame  Krackwitz  7 

Paul.  Krackwitz!  Major  Krackwitz  commandant  of  the  military 
prison  ? 

Fce.  Yes,  he’s  the  husband  selected  for  me,  by  my  father.  But  you’ll 
run  him  through  the  body  first,  won’t  you? 

Paul.  Your  father? 

Fce.  No,  the  Major;  but  perhaps  he  may  yet  retract. 

Paul.  Who,  the  Major? 

Fce.  No,  my  father ; especially  when  he  knows  that  we  couldn’t  live 
separated.  You’d  die,  wouldn’t  you  ? (tenderly.) 

Paul.  Not  I ! — I mean  yes,  of  course.  I should  make  it  my  immedi- 
ate business  to  die  ! 

Fce.  That  thought  will  comfort  me. 

Paul.  Will  it?  (aside)  Thank’ee. 

Fce.  Hush!  I thought  I heard  a step.  I must  leave  you. 

Paul  Ore  moment — will  you  explain  ? 

Fce.  This  letter  will  do  that,  (gives  letter , and  exits  hurriedly  into  room 
l.  1 E.) 

Paul  (after  watching  her  out).  Well,  of  all  the  extraordinary  and  mys- 
terious proceedings — who  can  she  be  ? (all  the  Pages  hurry  down  and 
surround  Paul  ) 

Lou.  Now,  Paul,  who  is  she  ? 

Pages.  Yes,  who  is  she?  Name,  name,  name  ! 

Paul.  No,  gentlemen,  I will  not  tell  you  who  the  lady  is — I will  not 
mention  her  name,  (aside)  For  the  best  of  all  possible  reasons — I 
couldn’t  if  I would.  ( walks  apart,  r.,  as  the  Pages  are  going  up,  and  opens 
letter)  Wliat’s  this?  an  appo  ntmeut  for  this  evening,  in  the  garden  of 
the  Inn,  and  signed — can  it  be  possible  ? — “ Foedora  Mullendorf.”  Our 
old  governor’s  lovely  daughter.  Here’s  another  victim  to  my  fatal  fas- 
cinations. Poor  creature ! it’s  really  very  sad. 

Enter  Katinka/Vow  r.  d.  u.  e. — the  Pages  run  and  surround  her , with  the 
exception  of  Paul,  who  remains  r.,  looking  at  letter. 

Kat.  Be  quiet,  gentlemen  ! And  hands  off,  if  you  please. 

Lou.  No,  no  ! A kiss,  a kiss. 


6 


WHICH  OJF  THE  TWO  ? 


Pages.  Yes,  a kiss  all  round. 

Paul.  For  shame,  gentlemen ! ( putting  Louis  on  one  side,  and  putting 
Katinka  ^ound  to  r.)  Don’t  be  alarmed,  my  dear,  I’ll  take  care  of  you — 
you  shan’t  be  kissed.  ( kisses  her)  I won’t  allow  you  to  be  kissed.  ( kisses 
her  again.) 

Kat.  (r.).  Thank  you,  sir.  {aside)  He’s  as  impudent  as  any  of  them — 
but  then  he’s  decidedly  the  best  looking  of  the  lot.  {aloud)  Your  sup- 
per’s quite  ready,  gentlemen. 

Paul  (aside).  I mustn’t  neglect  my  appointment  with  the  lovely  Foe- 
dora.  But  how  shall  I mauage  to  get  my  comrades  out  of  the  way  ! I 
have  it.  {aloud)  Come,  gentlemen,  what  say  you  to  a stroll  before  sup- 
perl 

Pages.  Agreed  ! agreed  ! {going  up.) 

Paul  (to  Katinka).  I shall  soon  be  back  again  ; you’ll  stop  here, 
won’t  you,  my  dear  ? (chucking  her  under  the  chin.) 

Kat.  ( drawing  herself  up).  Not  I,  indeed  ! ( aside  to  him)  Don’t  be 
long.  (Paul  kisses  her  again,  and  then  goes  off  at  back  with  the  other  Pages, 
c.  d.  l.  ) I’m  not  at  all  vain,  but  there’s  no  denying  that  having  an  im- 
perial page  for  a sweetheart  is  an  immense  feather  in  a girl’s  cap  ! I 
know  what  i’ll  do!  I’ll  go  and  pick  out  all  the  nice  tit  bits  for  his  sup- 
per, and  bring  it  in  here,  (goes  off,  d.  r.  u.  e.) 

Alexis  enters  hurriedly  at  door  r.  c.,  turns  and  looks  off — he  is  pale  and  agi- 
tated and  his  uniform  is  in  disorder. 

Alexis.  I think  I have  given  my  pursuers  the  slip  ! Yes,  they’re 
evidently  at  fault ; and  see — now  they  are  layiug  their  wise  heads  to- 
gether, and  the  result  is — ha,  ha,  ha! — that  they  gallop  off  in  the  oppo- 
site direction ! a pleasant  ride  to  you  gentlemen,  (advancing  and  wiping 
his  brow ) Wheugh ! now  let  me  quietly  review  my  position,  past  and 
present.  Ten  days  ago  I was  introduced,  with  all  due  respect  and  cere- 
mony, to  the  interior  of  a military  prison,  because  I refused  to  account 
for  the  expenditure  of  my  last  year’s  pay.  How  could  1,  without  shame 
and  humiliation,  publicly  confess  that  it  had  been  devoted  to  the  support 
of  my  aged  mother — the  widow  of  a brave  and  devoted  officer,  who  has 
been  reduced  almost  to  beggaryby  the  neglect  and  ingratitude  of  the 
government.  1 would  have  died  first.  I next  learn  that  Baron  Mullem 
dorf,  the  father  of  her  I adore,  has  arrived  in  the  neighborhood  of  the 
military  prison,  accompanied  by  the  lovely  Foedora — that  alone  would 
have  prompted  me  to  attempt  an  escape  ; but  when  the  news  reached 
me  that  our  troops  were  about  to  make  a night  attack  on  the  enemy,  1 
resolved  at  all  risks  to  join  my  brave  comrades.  Neither  bolts,  bars, 
watchful  jailers,  vigilant  sentinels,  no,  not  even  the  lynx-eyed  command 
ant,  Major  Krackwitz  himself,  could  detain  me,  and  my  escape  was  eP 
fected.  The  sound  of  musketry  soon  brought  me  to  the  scene  of  action, 
and  rushing  into  the  battle  where  the  fire  was  hottest,  a loud  cheer  from 
a body  of  the  enemy’s  cavalry  suddenly  attracted  my  attention,  and  I 
beheld  the  Emperor  in  the  midst  of  them  alone  and  single-handed.  1 
know  not  what  l did,  but  his  life  was  saved,  for,  placing  this  ring  on  my 
finger,  and  whispering  these  words  in  my  ear,  “To-morrow  your  Em- 
peror will  reward  your  devotion  ! ” he  again  dashed  into  the  fight.  For 
the  sake  of  my  widowed  mother,  I have  claimed  that  reward,  in  a letter 
to  the  Emperor,  which  is  here  in  my  pocket-book.  ( feeling  the  breast  of 
his  coat)  But  how  shall  I get  it  conveyed  into  his  majesty’s  hands  ? and 
even  if  1 succeed,  such  is  his  strict  sense  of  discipline,  that  it  is  by  no 
means  improbable  that  he  will  first  send  me  back  to  my  prison  to  settle 
accounts  with  Major  Krackwitz,  and  reward  me  afterwards.  No,  my 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO  ? 7 

first  effort  must  be  to  see  my  adored  Foedora,  and — get  something  to  eat. 
( crosses  to  r.  corner.) 

Enter  Katinka,  r.  d.  2 e. — crosses  to  l.  table,  with  a tray  on  which  supper 
things  are  laid. 

Kat.  [seeing  Alexis).  Why,  lie’s  come  back  already,  I do  declare. 
(mistaking  Alexis  for  Paul,  places  tray  on  table  with  a slam.) 

Alex,  (starting).  What’s  that  ? ( turning  and  seeing  Katinka.) 

Kat.  Your  supper,  of  course. 

Alex.  My  supper?  (aside)  Egad,  one  is  really  served  by  enchantment 
in  this  inn.  (aloud)  I’m  sure  I’m  very  much  obliged  to  you,  but  may  I 
ask  how  you  happened  to  know  that  I wanted  my  supper  ? 

Kat.  ( surprised ).  Why,  didn’t  you,  not  five  minutes  ago — but  you 
know  you  did. 

Alex,  (aside,  astonished).  She  says  I know  I did  ! (aloud)  What? 

Kat.  Why,  oh,  go  along,  do. 

Alex,  (aside).  What  does  she  mean  by  “go  along,  do  ? ” 

Kat.  But  tell  me,  how  did  you  manage  to  give  them  the  slip,  eh  ? 
Alex.  The  slip  ? 

Kat.  Yes,  how  did  you  manage  your  escape? 

Alex,  (starts).  Escape  ? (suddenly  grasping  her  hand,  and  in  a loud , ear- 
nest whisper)  Hush  ! I see  you  know  all. 

Kat.  Of  course  I do. 

Alex.  Then  swear  you’ll  not  betray  me — swear  it,  I say  ! (violently.) 
Kat.  (alarmed).  Oh,  lud,  I don’t  think  I can  swear,  but  I’ll  try,  if  you 
like. 

Alex.  No,  no,  you’ll  keep  the  secret  for  ray  sake,  won’t  you  ? 

Kat.  You  know  I will,  (taking  his  arm.) 

Alex,  (aside).  Rather  a familiar  young  lady,  I must  say.  (aloud)  Then, 
that  being  settled,  I’ll  have  my  supper,  (crosses  to  l.  table , and  sits  r.  c.) 

Kat.  ( following  him).  And  as  uncle  has  gone  down  to  the  village,  and 
we  have  got  the  house  to  ourselves,  I think  I’ll  pick  a bit  too.  (sitting 
down  l.  of  table.) 

Alex.  Do  you  ? ha,  ha ! (looking  with  astoiiishment  at  her,  aside)  Well, 
as  I said  before,  she  is  by  many  degrees  the  most  familiar  young  person 
— but  never  mind,  (beginning  to  eat  eagerly .) 

Kat.  (pouting).  Ah.  one  can  see  with  half  an  eye  that  you’re  too  hun- 
gry to  be  much  in  love. 

Alex,  (aside).  What  a very  odd  remark  ! (aloud)  There  you’re  wrong, 
my  dear,  for  I happen  to  be  desperately  in  love. 

Kat.  ( with  modesty).  Don’t. 

Alex.  And  no  wonder,  for  she  that  I adore  is  the  most  lovely,  the 
most  lascinating  of  her  sex. 

Kat.  (coquettishly).  Be  quiet,  do  ! I don’t  like  it. 

Alex,  (aside).  She  says  she  doesn’t  like  it.  What  possible  difference 
can  it  make  to  her.  (aloud)  Yes,  and  what’s  more,  I rather  flatter  myself 
that  she  loves  me  in  return. 

Kat.  (in  a coquettish  manner).  Do  you,  indeed  ? I’m  sure  she  never 
told  you  so. 

Alex.  I beg  your  pardon,  she  did,  the  very  last  time  I saw  her. 

Kat.  Oh,  oh,  how  can  you  tell  such  a great  big  fib  ? 

Alex,  (aside).  What  a very  extraordinary  young  woman.  ( aloud  and 
smiling)  Indeed,  so  convinced  am  1 ot  her  aff  ction,  that  I’m  determined 
to  make  her  my  wife. 

Kat.  Your  wife—  oh,  oh  ! (hysterically.) 


8 WHICH  OF  THE  TWO  ? 

Alex.  Zounds,  she’s  going  into  hysterics.  (< getting  up  and  going  to  her) 
What’s  the  matter? 

Kat.  The  surprise — the  joy — the — oh,  oh  ! your  wife — it’s  too  much. 
( throwing  herself  into  his  arms — he  is  perfectly  bewildered — then  suddenly)  But 
are  you  really , truly  in  earnest  ? 

Alex.  So  much  so,  that  I’ll  even  marry  her  without  her  father’s 
consent. 

Kat.  Her  father — you  mean  her  uncle? 

Alex.  Pshaw!  her  father!  but  that  extremity  I trust  to  avoid,  fori 
hope  to  make  her  mine  with  the  full  sanction  and  approbation  of  the 
Emperor  himself. 

Kat.  Lor!  you  don’t  mean  to  say  you’re  thinking  of  asking  his  Im- 
perial Majesty  the  Emperor  of  all  the  ftussias  to  our  wedding  ! 

Alex.  Whose  wedding? 

Kat.  Mine  ! 

Alex.  Yours? 

Kat.  Yours! 

Alex.  Mine? 

Kat.  Ours  ! 

Alex.  Ours  ? (aside)  She’s  a lunatic. 

Baron  ( without , l.  c.).  This  way  ! this  way! 

Alex,  (starting)  That  voice! 

Kat.  (looking  off,  l.  c.).  It’s  the  Governor  of  the  Imperial  Pages! 

Alex.  Baron  MullendorfI 

Kat.  Yes,  and  who  is  that  with  him?  The  Commandant  of  the  Mili- 
tary Prison. 

Alex.  Major  Krackwitz ! the  devil!  hide  me  quick — anywhere — in 
your  room,  (going  r.) 

Kat.  My  room  ! no,  no  ! we’re  not  married  yet,  sir! 

Alex.  Don’t  be  absurd!  ah,  in  here,  (going  to  door , l.  1 E.)  Confusion 
— it’s  locked ! 

Kat.  Of  course,  there’s  a young  lady  there  ! 

Baron  (without).  Now,  major,  are  you  coming? 

Kat.  Follow  me — quick — this  way!  [ Hurries  him  out , d.  l.  u.  e. 

Fcedora  opens  door , l.  1 e. 

Fce.  Dear  Alexis,  is  that  you  ? no  one  ? ah  ! (looking  off \ c.  d.  l.)  My 
father,  and  that  odious  Major  Krackwitz.  (hastily  re-enters  room , l.  1 e.). 

Enter  Baron  Mullendorf,  l.  c.,  followed  by  Major  Krackwitz. 

Baron  (l.,  taking  off  his  military  cloak).  Krackwitz,  cloak!  {throwing 
cloak  to  Major,  who  catches  it  and  hangs  it  over  chair , r.)  Krackwitz,  hat! 
(i tossing  it  to  Major,  who  catches  it  and  places  it  on  table,  r.)  Now,  a chair 
for  me,  another  for  yourself.  (Major  brings  down  two  chairs — Baron  seats 
himself,  l.)  Sit  down.  Ahem!  now,  major,  have  I or  have  I not  made 
myself  intelligible  ? 

Major  (r.).  Perfectly!  your  excellency  is  so  excessively  plain  spoken  ! 

Baron.  That  11  do  ! The  fact  is,  somehow  or  other,  I don’t  feel  myself 
quite  so  young  as  I was  forty  years  ago. 

Major  {in  a sympathising  tone).  You  don’t  say  so  ! 

Baron.  That’s  enough!  and  therefore,  wishing  to  see  my  daughter, 
Fcedora,  married  and  settled,  I have  hit  upon  you.  (giving  him  a heavy 
slap  on  left  shoulder.) 

Major  {wincing).  Thank  you! 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO  ? 


9 


Baron.  I might  possibly  have  found  a younger  husband  for  her,  cer- 
tainly a handsomer  one  — nevertheless,  you’ll  do — yes,  I think  you’ll  do. 

Maj.  You're  very  kind  ! Believe  me,  Baron,  the  lovely  Foedora  shall 
be  as  happy  as  1 can  possibly  make  her  ! 

Baron.  And  that’s  not  saying  much. 

Maj.  [aside).  What  an  agreeable  old  brute  it  is  ! 

Baron.  And  you  promise  to  indulge  her  in  everything? 

Maj.  In  everything ! 

Baron.  And  contradict  her  in  nothing  ? 

Maj.  In  nothing!  she  shall  enjoy  the  most  perfect,  I may  say  the 
most  unfettered  liberty. 

Baron.  Unfettered  liberty  in  a prison  ! that’s  a lively  prospect  for 
her. 

Maj.  And  she’ll  never  have  to  complain  of  a want  of  cheerful  and 
agreeable  society,  because  l shall  always  be  with  her. 

Baron,  Oh,  you’ll  be  always  with  her?  That’s  another  lively  prospect 
for  her. 

Maj.  {aside).  Complimentary  old  savage! 

Enter  a Peasant,  l.  c.,  hurriedly , with  a large  letter . 

Peasant  (l.)  A dispatch  from  the  military  prison  for  the  command- 
ant ; Major — Major  Krack — something  or  other,  {to  Baron)  Are  you  he? 

Baron  {drawing  himself  up).  No,  sirrah,  I am  not  Major  Krack — some- 
thing or  other— that  is  the  commandant.  ( pointing  to  Major,  and  cross- 
ing pompously  to  l.  ; the  Peasant  bows  awkwardly , delivers  the  letter  to  the 
Major  and  hurries  off , l.  c.) 

Maj.  {looking  at.  the  address).  From  my  head  jailer’  (to  Baron)  Will 
you  allow  me  to  fracture  the  seal  ? {opens  letter.) 

Baron.  Nothing  wrong,  I hope? 

Maj.  No,  not  much  fear  of  that.  When  a prisoner  once  gets  into  my 
clutches,  he  must  be  a very  slippery  sort  of  a gentleman,  indeed,  if  he 
manages  to — [reading  letter)  Eh — no — yes!  mercy  on  us.  {reading)  “Sorry 
to  inform  you— during  the  night — young  Alexis  Bettmarm ” 

Baron.  Exactly  ! one  of  the  Royal  Pai>es — your  prisoner  that  is  ! 

Maj.  No  ; my  prisoner  that  was  ! — he  has  escaped.  What’s  this  ? u He 
will  doubtless  be  speedily  recaptured,” — that’s  lucky  ! — “ for  on  the  first 
discovery  of  his  escape,  I immediately  dispatched  six  mounted  turkeys  in 
pursuit.” 

Baron.  Six  turkeys 

Maj.  Yes — no!  turnkeys!  I’m  so  confused — so  bewildered  ! ah,  here’s 
a postscript  “One  of  the  turkeys” — I mean  turnkeys — “has  just 
returned  with  a pocket  book,  evidently  dropped  by  the  prisoner  in  his 
flight,  and  containing  a letter  addressed  to  the  Emperor,  which  I have 
thought  it  my  duty  to  forward  instantly  to  his  majesty.”  Mercy  on  us  ! 
escaped  ! here’s  a pretty  piece  of  business,  if  it  reaches  the  Emperor’s 
ears 

Baron.  You’ll  lose  yours  ! 

Maj  My  ears  7 

Baron  Yes,  and  think  yourself  lucky  if  your  head  doesn’t  go  along 
with  them  ! 

Maj.  Thank  you  ! I must  return  to  the  prison  tlvs  very  moment. 

Baron.  Not  till  I have  presented  you  to  my  daughter — your  bride 
elect. 

Maj.  Then  make  haste  ! make  haste,  if  you  love  me  ! 

Baron.  This  way,  then  ! [Hurries  outr  l.  d.  1 E. 


10 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO? 


Alex  peeps  on  at  l.  d.  2 e. 

Alex.  They’re  gone ! luckily,  however,  I have  overheard  every  sylla- 
ble. Foedora  here  ! under  this  very  roof.  I must  see  her.  Ah  ! 

Katinka  enters  at  d.  l.  u.  e.,  lie  runs  to  her , grasps  her  hand  and  harries 
her  rapidly  to  the  front. 

Tell  me  ! the  young  lady  in  that  room — who — who  is  she  1 

Katinka.  (l.).  Well  I’m  sure,  sir!  you  seem  vastly  interested  about 
her ! 

Alex.  I am  immensely — intensely  interested  ! her  name  I speak,  don’t 
you  see  1 am  on  thorns  ? 

Kat.  Are  you?  well,  then,  her  name  is 

Alex  Foedora  ! Baron  Mullendorf’s  lovety,  fascinating  daughter. 

Kat.  Lovely?  that’s  a matter  of  taste.  For  my  part,  1 don’t  admire 
cock- up  noses. 

Alex.  Young  woman,  I beg  you’ll  speak  a little  more  respectfully  of 
the  object  of  my  affections. 

Kat.  She  the  object  of  your  affections  ! after  all  your  vows  to  me. 

Alex  ( astonished ).  To  you  1 

Kat.  Yes.  Oh,  oh,  oh,  you  good-for-nothing,  base,  cruel,  deceitful, 
ugl>  monster!  Didn’t  you  say  you  were  going  to  invite  the  Emperor 
of  all  the  Russias  to  our  wedding  ? Oh,  oh,  oh  ! {sobbing.) 

Alex.  Hush  ! ( putting  his  hand  over  her  mouth.) 

Kat  I won’t  hush!  I’ll  be  revenged  ! {aside)  Yes,  I’ll  run  and  tell 
Major  Krackwitz  that  lie’s  got  a rival,  (runs  to  door  l 1 e,,  turns 

towards  Alexis,  and  making  a frightful , ugly  grim«ce  at  him)  Ugh  ! 

[Exit  into  room , l.  1 E. 

Alex.  Poor  young  woman  ! there  can’t  be  the  slightest  doubt  that 
she’s  a little  damaged,  {touching  his  forehead)  How  shall  I let  Foedora 
know  that  l am  here  ? I’ve  not  patience  to  wait  till  her  father  and 
Major  Krackwitz  have  left  the  hou.?e.  1 have  it!  Her  window  looks 
out  into  the  garden.  I may,  perhaps,  be  able  to  attract  her  attention. 
Yes — at  any  rate  it’s  worth  the  trial.  [Exit,  c.  to  l. 

Paul  enters,  it.  d.  3 e. 

Paul.  Ha,  ha!  I’ve  given  my  comrades  the  slip  in  capital  style,  and 
here  I am  with  ample  time  before  me  to  prepare  for  my  appointment 
with  the  beautiful  Foedora  When  I say  beautiful,  perhaps  she  is  not 
beautiful,  because  if  she  is  beautiful,  why  was  she  so  closely  veiled  ? 
Zounds!  she  may  be  a positive  fright!  Pshaw!  a few  minute > will  de- 
cide. 

Re-enter  Katinka,  l 1 e. 

Kat.  ("site,  as  she  enters).  I’ve  told  Major  Krackwitz,  so  it  won’t  l*e 
my  fault  if  there  isn’t  a smartish  rattle  among  the  crockery  presently. 
(seeing  Paul,  and  mistaking  him  for  Alexis)  So,  sir,  you’re  still  here!  I 
thought  by  this  time  you  would  have  been  with  the  “ object  of  your 
affections!  ” ( contemptuously . ) 

Paul.  So  I am.  ( about  to  put  his  arm  round  her  waist.) 

Kat  Hands  off,  if  yon  please,  sir  Well,  why  don’t  you  go  ? you 
surely  won’t  keep  the  lady  waiting!  (sneemngly.) 

Paul  ( s:de).  How  the  deuce  can  she  have  discovered  ? (suddenly,  and 
seizng  Katrina’s  hand)  Hush  ! I see  you  know  all. 

Kat.  It  would  be  rather  odd  if  I didn’t. 


"WHICH  OF  THE  TWO  ? 


11 


Paul.  Who— who  could  have  told  you  7 

Kat.  Who,  why  you  ! 

Paul.  I 1 

Kat.  Yes  ; here  on  this  very  spot,  not  five  minutes  ago. 

Paul.  Pshaw  ! you're  dreaming. 

Kat.  Am  I?  On  the  contrary,  I’m  wide  awake.  Dreaming,  indeed! 
when  you  had  the  cruelty,  the  barba  ity,  to  tell  me  to  my  face  that  you 
“loved  lier,:’  and  that  you  “rather  flattered  yourself”  she  loved  you  in 
return. 

Paul  {looking .at  her , then  aside).  Poor  girl!  her  intellects  are  evidently 
a little  disordered,  {aloud)  Come,  no  more  of  this.  I’m  hungry. 

Kat.  Hungry  again  ? {astonished.) 

Paul  {aside).  What  does  she  mean  by  hungry  again  ? {aloud)  I repeat, 
I want  my  supper. 

Kat.  Supper  again  7 Pooh,  you  couldn’t  do  it.  You'd  better  pay 
for  what  you  have  had  already — here’s  your  bill,  {presents  hill.) 

Paul.  My  bill ! {looking  at  it)  Eight  roubles!  Wliat’s  this  7 “Soup, 
roast  chicken.” 

Kat.  Perhaps  you  haven’t  touched  the  soup,  but  you  can’t  deny  the 
chicken — only  look  at  your  bones,  {pointing  to  plate  on  table,  l.) 

Paul.  My  bones  ? 

Kat.  Yes,  so  pay  at  once  and  have  done  with  it.  Uncle  would  have 
charged  you  double  for  such  a supper  as  you’ve  had. 

Paul.  Ha,  ha,  ha!  “such  a supper  as  I have  had,”  eh?  No  no,  my 
dear ; I can  stand  a good  deal,  but  I can’t  quite  swallow  that. 

Kat.  But  you  have  swallowed  it,  therefore  I 

Major  ( without , l. ).  Very  well,  Baron,  very  well. 

Kat.  Here  comes  Major  Krackwitz.  {crossing  to  r ) I’ll  get  out  of  the 
way  of  the  explosion.  ( running  to  r.  I).,  then  stopping , and  pointedly  to 
Paul)  I wouldn’t  be  in  your  shoes  for  a trifle.  ( runs  out  at  door , r.  u.  e.) 

Paul  {looking  after  her).  I’d  give  something  to  know  what  this  all 
means. 

Enter  Major  Krackwitz,  at  door  l.  1 e. 

Major  {as  he  enters).  Can  what  this  young  girl  says  be  true,  that  a 
little,  lialf-fledged,  upstart,  beardless  page,  dares  to  cast  sheep’s  glances 
at  my  intended  7 {sees  Paul  r.)  Oh,  this  mud  be  he. 

Paul  {not  seeing  Major).  The  hour  of  my  appointment  being  close  at 
hand,  I may  as  well  take  up  my  position  in  the  garden  at  once,  {turns 
and  finds  himself  face  to  face  with  Major.) 

Major.  Now,  young  gentlemau  ! 

Paul.  If  you  come  to  that — now,  old  gentleman!  (aside)  I wonder 
who  he  is. 

Major.  You  have  a motive  in  be  ng  here  ? 

Paul.  Probably,  or  I shouldn’t  be  here. 

Major,  in  a word,  then,  sir,  the  lady — you  know  who  I mean — is  my 
intended  wife. 

Paul.  Is  she?  Then  I pity  her  with  all  my  heart. 

Major  {aside).  That’s,  about  the  rudest  remark  I’ve  heard  for  a long 
time,  (aloud)  Hark’ee,  sir,  do  you  mean  to  insult  me  ? because,  if  you 
do {threateningly,  l ying  hand  on  sword.) 

Paul.  Well,  sir  ? {same  business  ) 

Major.  I repeat,  because,  if  you  do — I can’t  help  it. 

Paul  Pshaw  ! out  of  the  way,  (crossing  to  l.,  pushing  the  Major  out  of 
the  way.) 

Major.  A blow!  (suddenly,  and  looking  fixedly  at  Paul)  Eh?  no — 
stop  as  you  are.  Don’t  move,  (aside)  If  this  should  be  my  runaway 

a OF  ILL  LIB. 


12 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO? 


page.  Luckily  I’ve  got  his  description,  {(akcs  paper  out  of  his  pocket, 
looking  at  P aul  after  each  sentence)  “Light  brown  hair — aquiline  eyes — 
— blue  nose.”  It’s  he  ? How  shall  I capture  him  ? I have  it ! {aloud, 
and  in  a lone  of  importance)  I see  you  wear  a sword,  sir. 

Paul.  Which  is  quite  at  your  service,  s;r. 

Major.  Then  hand  it  over  at  once.  In  other  words,  you  are  once 
more  my  prisoner. 

Paul.  I ? 

Major.  Yes,  you — Alexis  Bettman,  of  the  Imperial  Pages,  sentenced 
to  one  month’s  imprisonment  in  the  fortress  under  my  command, 
and  from  which  you  ignominiously  contrived  to  effect  your  escape  last 
night. 

Paul  {aside).  He  takes  me  for  my  brother.  Has  Alexis,  then,  escaped  ? 
I’ll  not  undeceive  him.  {aloud)  I confess,  sir,  1 am  Alexis  Bettman. 

Major.  And  I,  sir,  am  Major  Krackwri1z,  whose  agreeable,  I mean 
punful,  duty  it  is  to  escort  you  back  to  prison  immediately— so  follow 
me. 

Paul.  One  moment,  {aside)  Anything  to  give  Alexis  time,  [aloud)  Ex- 
cuse me  Major,  but  I can’t  forget  that  I have  insulted  you,  and  that 
you  have  a right  to  insist  upon  immediate  satisfaction.  Be  it  so  ! in 
five  minutes’  time  you  will  find  me  at  the  end  of  the  avenue,  {crossing 

to  R.) 

Major  Stop  ! a very  likely  matter  I’m  going  to  let  you  give  me  the 
slip  aaain. 

Paul.  Nay,  I pledge  you  my  word  that,  having  once  satisfied  your 
wounded  honor  by  running  you  through  the  body.  I’ll  follow  you  back 
to  prison  like  a lamb,  {going  towards  l.  b.,  s/ops)  Remember,  the  end  of 
the  avenue,  (goes  in,  re-appearing)  Pistols,  ol  course.  [Exit,  r.  d. 

Major  {shouting  after  him).  I’ll  be  there,  sir,  in  five  minutes,  pistols 
and  all,  sir!  (aside)  That’ll  just  give  me  time  to  post  half  a dozen  Cos- 
sacks there  to  pounce  upon  the  young  gentleman  the  moment  he 
arrives.  Ha,  ha,  capital!  but  I may  as  well  just  take  a peep  and  see 
what  he  is  about,  (peeps  through  keyhole  of  r.  d.) 

'Enter  Alexis,  c.  d.  l , without  the  epaulet  for  his  left  shoulder . 

Alex.  I have  seen  Fcedora — her  father  fortunately  left  her  alone  for 
a few  minutes,  and  I leapt  through  the  window  into  her  room.  She 
loves  me  still. 

Major  (r.,  turning  and  seeing  Alexis,  mistaking  him  for  Paul).  Holloa, 
how  the  deuce  did  he  get  there  ? 

Alex,  (l  , seeing  Major).  The  Major,  I’m  caught! 

Major  {aside).  He  hasn’t  got  his  pistols,  and  looks  pale  and  agitated, 
perhaps  he’s  frightened.  I’ll  swagger  a bit.  (aloud)  Well,  sir,  where 
are  the  murderous  weapons,  eh?  Can’t  find  ’em  perhaps.  Mislaid 
’em,  eh  ? What  a pity  ! umpli  ! 

Alex,  (a^ide).  What  the  deuce  is  he  talking  about  I 

Major  {observing  him , aside).  He’s  dreadfully  frightened,  {aloud,  and 
with  a swaggering  air)  No  matter,  swords  will  suit  me  quite  as  well — in- 
deed, rather  better,  (drawing  his  sword , and  flourishing  it  about)  So  follow 
me ! 

Alex.  ( aside ).  Back  to  prison — a very  likely  matter  ! (aloud)  No, 
Major,  not  I,  indeed. 

Major  (aside).  He’s  horribly  frightened,  (aloud)  To  refuse  satisfaction 
for  an  insult,  and  that  insult  a blow,  is  the  act  of  a coward. 

Alex.  Coward  ! ’sdeath  and  furies  ! defend  yourself!  (draivs  his  sword , 
and  thrusts  it,  and  driving  Major  round  the  stage,  and  off,  c.  to  B.) 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO  ? 


13 


Major.  Holloa!  holloa! 

Alex.  Come  on,  come  on,  I say  ! 

Major.  Help  ! help  ! 

Enter  Paul,  r.  d.  2 e.,  with  a brace  of  pistols. 

Paul  Now,  Major,  I am  ready  for  you.  Sorry  to  have  kept  you,  but 
I found  my  pistols  were  not  loaded,  (i looking  about)  Heyday  ! not  here  ! 
what  the  deuce  has  become  of  him  ? 

Re-enter  Major,  c.  from  r.,  very  much  out  of  breath,  his  hat  off,  wig  awry, 
dress  disordered — leans  up  against  door  post  exhausted. 

Major.  Wheugh!  of  all  the  desperate,  sanguinary  young  rascals — Pm 
sure  if  I’ve  run  round  the  garden  once  with  that  infuriated  young  savage 
at  my  heels,  Pve  been  round  five-and-twenty  times;  but,  luckily,  at  the 
last  go  round,  he  ran  plump  into  the  arms  of  six  gigantic  Cossacks,  so 
that  now  he  is  safely  caged  at  last  ( seeing  Paul,  r . whom  he  mistakes  for 
Alexis)  Eh — no — yes — escaped  again  ! (staring  with  astonishment.) 

Paul  (r.,  turning  and  seeing  Major).  Oh,  there  you  are!  I couldn’t 
imagine  what  had  become  of  you.  I was  just  going  to  run  after  you. 

Major.  What,  again  ? Well,  you  wouldn’t  have  had  far  to  run,  for  1 
couldn’t  have  gone  once  more  round  to  save  my  life. 

Paul  ( astonished ).  Once  more  round  what? 

Major.  Why,  that  infernal  garden ! But  tell  me,  how  the  deuce  did 
you  contrive  to  get  out  of  their  clutches  ? 

Paul.  Whose  clutches  I 

Major.  Why,  the  six  Cossacks,  you  know,  who  arrested  you  just 
now ! 

Paul.  Arrested  me? 

Major.  Yes,  sir,  for  your  cowardly  attempt  to  stab  me  behind  my 
back. 

Paul.  Pshaw  ! no  such  thing. 

Major  No  such  thing,  eh  ? Well,  if  sticking  your  sword  into  a man 
who  is  running  away  from  you  isn’t  stabbing  him  behind  his  back,  I 
don't  know  what  is. 

Paul  ( looking  at  him,  and  shaking  his  head).  Major,  Major,  you’ve  been 
drinking. 

Baron  (without,  l.  1 e.).  Major,  Major,  I say. 

Major.  The  Baron  (to  Paul)  You’ll  stop  here  till  I come  back. 

Paul.  Yes,  I won’t  follow  your  example  by  running  away  from  you — 
ha,  ha,  ha! 

Baron  (without,  and  in  a louder  tone).  Major,  I say ! 

Major.  I’m  coming!  [runs  info  room,  l.  1 e 

Paul.  So  it  seems  I’ve  been  running  round  a garden  trying  to  stick 
my  sword  into  that  elderly  gantleman’s  back ; then  I’ve  been  arrested 
by  six  Cossacks ; then — (suddenly)  Ah,  yes,  it  must  be  so!  Alexis  is 
doubtless  concealed  hereabouts,  and  he — he  is  the  hereof  this  adventure 
for  which,  owing  to  our  resemblance,  I have  got  the  credit — ha,  ha,  ha  ! 
(looking  off,  r.  c.  d.)  What  do  I see  ? ’ tis  he  ! 

Alexis  is  brought  on  by  the  Cossacks,  c.  from  r , who  go  out  again — at  the 
same  time  Katinka  enters,  r.  d.  2 e. 


Alex.  (r.  ).  S Brother!  rush 


into  each  other's  arms.) 


14 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO? 


Kat.  (at  back , r ).  He’s  got  a brother  ! Why,  mercy  on  me,  they’re 
both  exactly  alike  ! I shan’t  know  oue  from  the  other. 

Alex.  Dear  Paul ! 

Kat.  {aside)  Oh,  that’s  Paul ! I won’t  take  my  eyes  off  him,  or  I 
shall  get  puzzled  again. 

Paul.  Dear  Alexis,  I needn’t  say  with  what'delight  I heard  of  your 
escape  from  piison ! 

Alex.  Yes ; I was  resolved  to  join  my  comrades  in  their  attack  on 
the  enemy  last  night. 

Paul.  My  brave  brother! 

Alex  But  that’s  not  the  only  good  fortune  that’s  happened  to  me. 
She’s  here — under  this  very  roof. 

Paul.  Your  beautiful  unknown  I 

Alex.  Yes. 

Paul.  So  is  mine ; but  she’s  no  longer  unknown,  for  I have  discov- 
ered who  she  is. 

Alex.  So  have  I.  In  a word,  the  object  of  my  affection  is  no  other 
than — {whispers  Paul,  who  starts.) 

Paul  (smiling).  Well,  as  one  confidence  deserves  another,  the  object 
of  my  affection  is  no  other  than — ( whispers  Alexis,  who  starts  violently .) 

Alex.  Fcedora  faithless ! 

Paul.  Not  a bit  of  it — ha,  ha,  ha!  Don’t  be  jealous,  the  mystery  is 
easily  explained.  She  mistook  me  for  you,  as  older  and  wiser  heads 
have  done  before. 

Kat.  (r.,  aside).  Mine,  for  instance. 

Paul  But  are  you  aware  that  you  really  have  a rival  1 

Alex.  Major  Krackwitz — yes,  Foedora  told  me  so.  By-the-bye,  the 
Major  insisted  upon  it  just  now  that  I had  grossly  insulted  him,  and, 
probably,  mistaking  my  astonishment  for  fear,  dared  to  call  me  a cow- 
ard ! 

Paul.  Ha,  ha,  ha ! then  it  is  you  who’ve  been  running  round  the  gar- 
den after  him,  trying  to  stab  him  behind  his  back,  eh  ? Capital!  don’t 
be  alarmed — I’m  the  offender  ! 

Alex,  {anxiously).  But,  he  spoke  of  a blow  ! 

Paul.  It  was  something  of  the  sort,  1 believe ; but  I was  annoyed — 
irritated!  But  I suppose  a Council  of  War  will  settle  the  matter. 

Alex,  {alarmed).  A Council  of  War!  Oh.  Paul,  think  of  our  poor 
mother — it  would  kill  her!  Write  to  the  Emperor,  confess  your  fault, 
and  implore  his  pardon. 

Paul.  Nay,  nay,  I shall  get  out  of  the  scrape,  depend  upon  it.  {sud- 
denly) Heyday  ! Alexis,  what  has  become  of  your  epaulet  1 

Alex.  ( feeling  his  left  shoulder).  Gone ! ah,  if  1 have  dropped  it  in 
Foedora’s  apartment,  and  her  father  should  happen  to  find  it 

Paul.  He’ll  probably  summon  the  whole  of  the  Imperial  Pages  to  his 
presence,  and  thus  the  unlucky  youth  without  an  epaulet  will  be  at 
once  proclaimed  his  daughter’s  lover. 

Alex.  True  ! what — what  is  to  be  done  ? 

Paul.  Nothing  so  simple  ! you’ve  lost  your  epaulet — take  mine. 
(about  to  t ike  off  his  epaulet .) 

Alex  And  so  involve  you — no  ! 

Paul.  You  won’t?  (taking  off  his  epaulet)  Then  I’ll  put  it  into  my 
pocket — there— -and  now  let  the  indignant  old  Baron  do  his  worst. 

Kat.  (who  has  got  round  to  l).  Oh,  lud ! as  long  as  oue  of  them  had 
an  epaulet  I could  tell  them  apart,  but  what’s  to  be  done  now  ? I 
have  it!  I’ 11  just  pin  this  on  his  coat  tail  ! {taking  a bow  of  ribbon  fruit, 
her  dress  and  pinning  it  on  Paul’s  coat  tail ) There,  thanks  to  that  "pre- 
caution, I shall  know  my  beau  again  in  a moment.  [Exit  at  r.  d.  2 e. 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO  ? 


15 


Paul  [goes  to  table , l.,  drinks  a glass  of  wine,  and  throws  himself  into  chair 
r.  of  table') . Come,  Alexis,  a glass  of  wine.  No  1 then  I will,  (drinks  a 
glass  of  wine)  Notone — no?  then  I’ll  take  another.  ( keeps  talking  and 
drinking , yawns)  Strange,  this  sudden  drowsiness,  {yawns)  Perhaps  an- 
other glass  of  wine — ( drinks , and  at  l>st falls  asleep.) 

Alex.  (r.).  If  this  insult  offered  by  Paul  to  his  superior  officer  is 
brought  before  a military  tribunal,  his  ruin  is  inevitable.  How  shall  I 
save  him  ? Ah,  yes,  if  he  would  but  restore  this  ring  I wear  to  the  Em- 
peror, it  would  secure  his  pardon — but  no,  Paul  would  never  consent. 
(turns  and  sees  him  asleep)  What  do  I see  ? By  all  that’s  fortunate,  he 
sleeps  ! ( taking  ring  off  his  finger  and  places  it  on  Paul’s  finger — the  right 
hand.) 

Major  ( without , l.).  Very  well,  Baron,  very  wrell. 

Alex.  The  Major — I was  just  in  time,  (goes  r.) 

Enter  Major,  l.  d.  1 e. 

Major  (seeing  Alexis).  Still  heie,  eh  ? You’ll  soon  learn,  young  man, 
what  it  is  to  outrage  military  discipline  by  insulting  your  superior. 
(walking  to  and  fro.) 

Alex,  (aside).  Perhaps  an  apology  may  yet  save  Paul.  ( following  him) 
Major,  if  the  expression  of  my  most  sincere  regret — (c.) 

Major  (still  walking  about).  Too  late  ! too  late!  I have  made  my  re- 
port, therefore,  unhappy,  ill-starred  youth,  you  must  abide  the  conse- 
quences. (turns  and  finds  himself  close  to  Paul,  Alexis  goes  round  to  r.) 
Heyday  ! hang  me  if  the  unhappy,  ill-starred  youth  liasn  t gone  fast 
asleep  ! (shaking  him  violently .) 

Paul  (starting  up,  l ).  What’s  the  matter? 

Major  (c.,  seeing  Paul  l.,  Alexis  r ).  Eh,  no  ! can  it  be  ? (looking  from 
one  to  the  other  several  times)  Is  it  an  optical  delusion  ? no,  they  are  both 
one,  and  both  exactly  alike,  (coming  forward,  they  exchange  looks  behind) 
If  I arrest  one,  it’s  just  a toss  up  that  1 shall  make  a mistake,  and  if  I 
do  make  a mistake,  it’s  anything  but  a toss  up  that  I shall  get  into  a 
confounded  scrape.  Ah,  l have  it ! (to  Paul)  Young  man,  after  the 
very  handsome  apology  you  made  me  just  now 

Paul.  I ! (astonished.) 

Major  (to  Alexis)  I mean  you  ! 

Alex.  I ! 

Major.  One  of  you  did,  which  was  it? 

Paul’  \ (smili,a)-  Ah,  ah  ! 

Major.  I insist  on  knowing. 

Paul'  \ ("»*''*)■  Oh,  oh  ! 

Major.  Both  dumb! 

Baron,  ( without , l ).  Major,  Major  ! 

Major.  Perhaps  the  Baron  will  make  you  speak.  In  the  mean  time, 
I arrest  yo  i both— you  hear?  both!  consider  that  room  your  dungeon. 
(pointing  to  l.  d.  3 e — Alexis  crosses  to  Paul,  and  they  throw  an  arm  round 
each  other's  neck)  Left  backwards — wheel ! (they  wheel  and  face  Major  ad- 
vance three  steps  towards  Major  salute  and  laugh , wheel  backwards,  take 
three  steps  to  l.,  turn,  salute  and  laugh , wheel  backwards,  and  exit,  laughing, 
L.  d.  3 e.)  Well,  now  I’m  more  puzzled  than  ever. 

Enter  Baron  hurriedly,  l.  d.  1 e , with  an  epaulet  in  his  hand — walking  up 
behind  Major,  and  in  a voice  of  thunder . 


13 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO? 


Baron  (l.).  Krackwitz  ! 

Major  (r  .,  storting).  Oh,  lud  ! ( turning  round.) 

Baron.  You  see  before  you  a man  purple — no,  crimson  with  indigna- 
tion ! 

Major.  Well,  you  do  look  rather  red  in  the  face — what’s  the  matter  ? 

Major.  This  ! (thrusting  epaulet  close  under  the  Major’s  nose.) 

Major.  An  epaulet ! 

Baron.  Belonging  to  one  of  the  Imperial  Pages!  Where  do  you 
think  I found  it  ? 

Major.  Most  likely  where  he  dropped  it. 

Baron  But  where  do  you  think  he  dropped  it? 

Major  Probably  where  you  found  it. 

Baron  Yes;  ha,  ha,  ha!  (s  vagely)  In  my  daughter’s  apartment! 
your  intended’s  apartment  ! Don’t  you  hear  1 (furiously.) 

Major  (manned).  Yes,  of  course  I hear.  My  intended  daughter’s 
apartment — no,  my  daughter’s  intended  apartment — no,  stop!  I’ve  got 
n couple  of  pages  locked  up  in  that  room — the  brothers  Bettmann — who 
(with  emphasis)  by  an  extraordinary  dispensation  of  nature 

Baron.  Pshaw  ! don’t  bother  me  about  nature — run  and  see  if  either 
of  them  is  without  his  epaulet — why  don’t  you  run  ] (furiously  -Major 
crosses  to  l.,  Baron  to  r.) 

Major,  (at  door , l.  3 e.,  peeping  through  keyhole).  Yes,  there’s  one  with- 
out his  epaulet. 

Baron  Ah ! 

Major.  And  the  other 

Baron.  Never  mind  the  other  ! 

Major.  The  other’s  without  it  too.  (Baron  sits  at  table  and  writes) 
They’re  exactly  alike  in  every  particular,  for  as  I was  going  to  observe, 
by  some  extraordinary  dispensation  of  nature 

Baron  ( furiously ).  Don’t  talk  nonsense!  ( going  on  writing.) 

Major.  It’s  not  nonsense,  for  how  am  I to  know  which  of  the  two  it 
was  dared  to  insult  my  honor  ? 

Baron.  Don’t  bother  me  about  your  honor!  how  am  I to  know  which 
it  was  dared  to  insult  my  daughter] 

Major.  Don’t  bother  me  about  your  daughter! 

Baron.  Ha! 

Major.  No,  I don’t  mean  that! 

Baron  {rising  and  coming  forward  with  written  paper).  We  must  make 
common  cause.  Listeu!  the  Emperor  is  here — (Major  looks  about) 
Pshaw ! when  I say  here  I don’t  exactly  mean  here. 

Major.  Then  why  do  you  say  here  ? 

Baron.  Silence ! he  is  in  the  immediate  neighborhood,  and  I have 
received  his  Imperial  orders  to  discover  the  Imperial  Page  who  saved 
his  Imperial  life,  and  to  whom  he  gave  his  Imperial  ring — here  is  my 
answer;  (showing  paper)  stating  that  I have  been  unable  to  do  so,  and  at 
the  same  time  requesting  permission  to  punish  the  audacious  page  who 
has  presumed  to  compromise  my  daughter’s  reputation.  This  paper  you 
must  deliver  to  the  Emperor  at  once,  (gives  it)  Don’t  you  hear?  at 
once  ? 

Major.  I’m  going  ! [Runs  offy  c.  to  r. 

Baron.  Here  comes  Foedora — I’ll  question  her. 

Enter  Fcedora,  l.  d.  1 E. 


Come  here,  my  child  ! 
F(e.  Yes,  father! 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO  ? 17 

Baron.  Ahem ! I have  just  picked  up  a certain  article  of  dress  in  your 
apartment ! 

Fce.  Indeed ! something  belonging  to  me  ? 

Baron.  Well,  I don’t  see  exactly  how  it  can  form  part  of  your  ward- 
robe, unless  you’ve  taken  lately  to  wearing  epaulets,  [holding  up  epaulet.) 

Fce.  {aside).  What  shall  I say  ? 

Baron  {violently).  The  name  of  the  page  who  owns  this  epaulet — 
quick  ! speak  ! 

Fce.  (l.,  alarmed).  I think — I mean — I believe  his  name  is  Bettmann. 

Baron.  Which  — which  of  the  brothers — Alexis  or  Paul? 

Fce.  He — he  never  told  me  his  Christian  name  ! 

Baron.  Should  you  know  him  again  ? 

Fce.  Oh,  yes,  that  1 should  1 

Baron.  That’s  lucky!  {crosses  to  l.,  opens  door,  l.  3 e.)  Step  this  way, 
gentlemen. 

Enter  Alexis  and  Paul,  l 3 e , at  the  same  moment  Katinka  enter s,  r.  d. 

3 e.  * 

Baron.  Now,  daughter,  they  are  both  before  you — which  is  he  1 

Fce.  {starting).  Can  such  a marvellous  resemblance  be  possible  1 

Baron.  Are  you  dumb  ? I repeat,  which  is  he  ? 

Fce.  They  are  so  exactly  alike  I cannot  tell. 

Kat.  ( aside ).  Luckily  I can,  thanks  to  my  bunch  of  ribbons,  which  is 
still  on  his  coat  tail,  {getting  round , l.) 

Baron  {aside).  I must  try  another  plan,  {aloud)  Ahem  ! gentlemen,  one 
of  you  has  seriously  compromised  the  reputation  of  my  daughter ! there 
is  but  one  reparation  he  can  make — in  other  words,  he  must  marry  her ! 
{aside)  I shall  have  him  now  ! 

Paul  ( hastily , aside  to  Alexis).  A snare  ! 

Alex.  ( to  Paul,  aside).  A trap  ! 

Baron.  Therefore  let  the  happy  youth  declare  himself  at  once. 

Baron.  One  at  a time— now,  answer. 

Baron.  Confusion  ! Fcedora,  then  you  must  and  shall  decide. 

Fce.  {hesitating).  Well,  then,  I think — I mean — I believe  this  is  he, 
{pointing  to  Paul.) 

Kat.  {coming  forward , l.).  I beg  your  pardon,  that  young  man  belongs 
to  me,  for  I took  the  precaution  of  putting  my  private  mark  upon 
him.  {stiowing  bunch  of  ribbons)  Besides,  here  is  his  epaulet.  ( taking  it  out 
of  Paul’s  left  pocket)  There,  I have  got  you  out  of  that  scrape,  haven’t 
I,  dear  Paul  ? 

Baron.  That’s  enough.  So,  then  {to  Alexis)  Alexis  Bettmann,  it  is 
you  who  first  set  the  Emperor  at  defiance  by  breaking  out  of  prison, 
and  then  insult  me  by  making  love  to  my  daughter. 

Alex.  My  intentions,  Baron,  are  honorable. 

Baron.  That  the  Emperor  must  decide,  {goes  up  stage — Alexis  crosses 
to  r.  , to  Fcedora)  Ah  ! 

Enter  Major,  hurriedly , c.  from  r.,  followed  by  Officers  and  Six  Cossacks 
and  all  the  Imperial  Pages. 


Fcedora. 

R. 


Katinka. 


Baron. 


Alexis. 


Paul. 

l. 


18 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO? 


Baron.  Well,  (anxiously  to  Major).  You’ve  seen  the  Emperor? 

Major.  Yes,  and  here  is  his  majesty’s  reply  to  your  letter ! (Two  Cos- 
sacks during  this  have  placed  the  table , which  is  on  r.,  in  the  c.,  with  a chair) 
But  first  let  me  attend  to  my  little  affair,  (goes  to  table}  takes  out  a hrge 
paper  which  he  unfolds  and  spreads  on  table  * 

Major.  Attention  ! (reads)  “ The  council  of  war  now  assembled  at 
head-quarters,  hereby  requires  the  signature  of  the  Imperial  Page  who 
stauds  charged  with  insulting  his  superior  officer — Major  Karl  Scipio 
Ajax  Agamemnon  Krackwitz— ” 

Paul  l.).  With  all  my  heart ! (hurries  to  table  and  hold  out  his  hand  for 
pen.) 

Baron  (r  seeing  the  ring  on  his  finger).  Eh?  what!  that  ring  ! (seizing 
Major  by  the  arm , and  bringing  him  forward)  It’s  he  ! (in  a loud  whisper , 
and  pointing  to  Paul.) 

Major.  Is  it?  Which  he?  what  he  ? who  he  ? {bothered.) 

Baron  (crosses  to  Paul,  and  grasping  his  right  hand,).  It  was  a noble 
action,  young  man.  (shaking  his  hand.) 

Major  (coming  down  to  Paul,  and  taking  his  left  hand).  It  was  a superb 
action,  young  man.  (shaking  his  hand.) 

Baron  (with  another  shake  of  Paul’s  hand).  One  that  will  shed  a lustre 
on  your  name. 

Major  (ditto).  One  that  will  shed  two  lustres  on  your  name. 

Paul  (c  , bewildered).  Really,  gentlemen,  I don’t  understand 

Baron  (smiling).  Nay,  modesty  and  valor  always  go  hand  in  hand  to- 
gether. 

Major  (shaking  Paul’s  hand).  Yes,  it’s  a well-known  fact,  hand  in  hand 
they  always  go  ! 

Paul.  Once  more,  I am  at  a loss 

Baron.  Nay,  nay,  that  ring  on  your  finger  has  betrayed  your  secret. 
(to  Officers  and  Pages)  Gentlemen,  in  this  gallant  youth  you  behold  the 
preserver  of  the  Emperor’s  life  ! (the  Pages  all  comedown  and  congratulate 
Paul,  then  go  up  in  conversation  with  the  Baron  and  Major.) 

PauljJc.,  looking  at  ring).  This  ring  ! by  what  strange,  mysterious 

Alex,  (r.,  grasping  his  arm  and  speaking  in  a low  tone).  Hush!  the 
council  of  war  is  already  assembled  ! if  you  would  preserve  our  name 
from  disgrace — if  you  would  save  our  mother  from  despair 

Paul.  Oh,  speak ! 

Alex.  Declare  that  that  ring  was  placed  on  your  finger  by  the 
Emperor. 

Paul  And  so  basely  rob  another  of  his  reward  ? 

Alex.  No,  for  that  other  will  never  claim  it — no,  no,  Paul,  he  will 
freely  sacrifice  fortune,  fame,  life  itself  to  save  his  brother ! 

Paul  ( staggered ).  Alexis  ! 

Alex.  Hush  t (seeing  Baron  and  Major  advancing — Alexis  goes  r.,  Paul, 
l. — Baron  and  Major  c.) 

Baron  (r.  c.,  hastily  breaking  the  seal  of  letter , and  angrily  to  Major). 
Why  didn’t  you  tell  me  I haven't  opened  the  Emperor’s  letter? 

Major  (l.  c.).  Well,  I really  thought 

Baron.  You’d  no  business  to  think. 

Major.  I mean,  I didn’t  think. 

Baron.  Then  why  didn’t  you  think!  (opening  letter  and  reading)  “The 
Emperor  is  aware  of  the  escape  of  Alexis  Bettmann  from  the  military 


Fcedora. 

k. 


*Pages.  Cossacks.  Pages. 

Alexis.  Officer.  Paul.  Katinka. 

Baron.  Major. 


c. 


L. 


WHICH  OF  THE  TWO? 


19 


prison — the  Emperor  is  also  aware,  from  the  contents  of  a pocket  book 
belonging  to  the  fugitive,  and  transmitted  to  the  Emperor,  that  it  is  to 
Alexis  Bettmann  that  he  owes  his  life ” 

Pages  and  / To  Alpvi, , 

Everybody,  j 

Paul  (l.,  aside).  The  truth  is  out!  so  much  the  better,  for  it  lay  pain- 
fully heavy  here.  ( laying  his  hand  upon  his  heart .) 

Major  ( undecided — turns  first  to  one,  then  to  the  other , and  at  length  to 
Alexis,  r.).  It  was  a noble — superb  action — one  that  will  add  three  lus- 
tres to  your  name,  (shakes  hands  with  him.) 

Baron.  Silence!  (Major  goes  up — Baron  reading)  “The  aforesaid 
Alexis  Bettmann  is  hereby  promoted  to  the  rank  of  captain,  as  the  recom- 
pense of  his  filial  devotion  to  his  mother — he  is  also  perm  tted  to  name 
his  own  reward  for  the  service  rendered  to  his  Emperor.”  Speak  ! ( look- 
ing slyly  at  Fcedora)  The  reward  you  will  doubtless  ask  is — is 

Alex,  {looking  first  at  Fcedora  then  at  Paul,  then  suddenly).  My  brother’s 
pardon  ! (rushing  to  Paul — they  meet  in  c ) 

Paul.  Dear  Alexis  ! (embrace.) 

Baron  (r. — aside,  and  wiping  his  eyes).  He’s  a fine,  noble  fellow,  and — 
(aloud  to  Alexis)  Do  you  love  my  daughter  ? 

Alex,  (l  c.).  Devotedly ! 

Baron.  Then  she  is  yours  ! (■ putting  Fcedora  across  to  him.) 

Major  (coming  down  r.  between  Baron  and  Fcedora).  Hollo,  holloa  ! 
father-in  law — but  stop  I (pointing  to  the  paper  wlvch  the  Baron  has  in  his 
hand)  There’s  an  imperial  postscript,  and  that  imperial  postscript  may  be 
important. 

Baron  (reading).  “ With  respect  to  Major  Krackwitz ” 

Major.  There  ! didn’t  I say  it  was  important  ? 

Baron,  (reading)  “ In  order  to  teach  him  more  caution  for  the  future, 
he  is  condemned  to  six  weeks’  imprisonment  in  his  own  fortress.” 

Paul  Ha,  ha,  ha!  and  be  sure,  Major,  you  don’t  let  yourself  slip 
through  your  own  fingers. 

Major  (to  Paul).  Well,  perhaps  you  will  use  your  influence  with  his 
majesty  in  my  behalf,  (crosses  to  l.  corner.) 

Paul.  Let  me  first  endeavor  to  exert  it  here,  (to  Audience)  May  I 
hope  that  our  efforts  to  amuse  may  be  taken  into  the  merciful  consider- 
ation of  this  Court  Martial,  and  that  on  this  occasion  our  offences  against 
strict  dramatic  discipline  may  be  forgiven  or  only  gently  reprimanded, 
we  don’t  care  “ Which  of  the  Two.” 


Pages. 

Baron.  Fcedora. 
r. 


Cossacks. 

Officer. 

Alexis.  Paul. 

c. 


Pages. 

Katinka. 


Major. 

l. 


CURTAIN. 


STAGE  DIRECTIONS. 

R.  means  Right  of  Stage,  facing  the  Audience  ; L.  Left ; C.  Centre ; R.  C.  Rigfc  5 
of  Centre ; L.  C.  Left  of  Centre.  D.  F.  Door  in  the  Flat,  or  Scene  running  across 
the  back  of  the  Stage ; C.  D.  F.  Centre  Door  in  the  Flat ; R.  D.  F.  Right  Door  in 
the  Flat;  L.  D.  F.  Left  Door  in  the  Flat ; R.  D.  Right  Door  ; L.  D.  Left  Door ; 1 E 
First  Entrance;  2 E.  Second  Entrance  - U.  E.  Upper  Entrance ; 1,  2 or  3 G.  First 
Second  or  Third  Grooves. 

R.  R.  C.  C.  L.  C.  L. 

K5T*  The  reader  is  supposed  to  be  upon  the  stage  facing  the  audience. 


20 


WHICH  OF  1HE  TWO  ? 


COSTUMES . 

Baroh  Mullendoef.— Claret  surtout  coat,  bound  with  fur  (sable),  heavily  trimmed 
with  gold  loops  and  lace ; fur  cap  with  scarlet  fall,  trimmed  with  gold,  white 
pantaloons,  trimmed  with  gold,  black  boots  with  deep  sable  fur  tops,  sword, 
gold  belt,  amber  silk  sash,  large  cloak. 

Major  Kuackwitz.— Green  surtout,  bound  with  fur  (sable),  trimmed  with  gold  loops, 
lace,  etc.,  the  same  as  Baron’s. 

The  Pages.— Green  surtout  coats,  bound  with  sable  fur,  trimmed  with  gold  cord, 
amber  silk  sashes,  swords,  belts,  yellow  pantaloons,  Hessian  boots,  fur  caps,  with 
scarlet  falls. 

Peasants. — Russian  peasant’s  dress,  the  same  as  in  the  Exile. 

Cossacks.-  Hussar  jackets,  full  red  trousers,  black  boots,  fur  caps,  buff  belts,  swords. 

Fcedora. — Puce  velvet  pelisse,  trimmed  with  fur  and  gold,  amber  petticoat,  lace 
boots  with  fur  tops,  large  black  veil,  cap  trimmed  with  fur. 

Katinka. — Colored  body,  trimmed  with  gold  cord,  long  sleeves,  double  skirt,  apron 
trimmed  to  match,  Russian  head-dress,  trimmed  with  beads,  braided  hair,  and 
four  long  tails,  fancy  stockings,  black  shoes. 


TIME  IN  REPRESENTATION-SIXTY  MINUTES. 


SYNOPSIS. 

Alexis  Bettman,  one  ot  the  Imperial  Pages,  is  imprisoned  by  the  Czar  for  re- 
fusal to  confess  as  to  the  manner  in  which  he  expended  his  last  year’s  pay.  He 
breaks  prison  to  join  in  an  attack  on  the  enemy,  during  which  he  saves  the  emper- 
or’s life.  His  preserver  is  unknown  to  the  sovereign,  but  the  Czar  places  a ring  on 
his  finger,  declaring  that  he  should  be  rewarded  on  the  morrow.  Alexis  claims  the 
reward  in  a letter  to  His  Majesty,  on  behalf  of  his  widowed  mother.  Fcedora,  the 
governor’s  daughter,  designed  to  be  married  to  the  military  commander,  visits  an 
inn  with  a view  of  making  an  appointment  with  Alexis,  her  favored  lover.  Meet- 
ing Paul,  Alexis’  twin  brother,  and,  deceived  by  their  resemblance,  she  gives  him 
the  note  designating  the  place  of  interview.  Paul  goes  in  search  of  the  place  indi- 
cated, while  Alexis  comes  to  the  inn,  where  Katinka,  beloved  by  Paul,  serves  him 
with  a supper,  ordered  by  his  brother,  under  a misapprehension  of  his  being  her  ad- 
mirer. The  governor  and  commandant,  in  search  of  the  escaped  prisoner,  arrive  at 
the  inn,  where,  subsequently,  the  commandant  encounters  Paul,  who,  acknowledg- 
ing himself  to  be  Alexis,  accepts  a challenge,  and  goes  in  search  of  pistols  for  the 
purpose  of  fighting  the  duel.  In  his  absence  Alexis  returns,  having  seen  Fiedora 
in  her  apartment,  where  he  has  dropped  one  of  his  epaulettes,  and  then  casually 
meets  the  commandant,  who  has  planned  the  duel  merely  to  entrap  his  prisoner  into 
the  hands  of  the  Cossacks.  The  page  draws  his  sword  on  his  superior  officer,  who 
charges  the  offence  upon  Paul,  who,  to  shield  his  brother,  assumes  the  responsibility 
of  the  offence.  The  letter,  dropped  by  Alexis  in  his  flight,  has  been  forwarded  to 
the  Czar,  who  returns  an  answer,  advancing  his  preserver  to  the  rank  of  captain, 
with  the  privilege  of  naming  his  own  reward,  which  Alexis  claims  to  be  the  pardon 
of  his  brother.  The  governor,  struck  with  his  fraternal  devotion,  confers  upon 
Alexis  the  hand  of  his  daughter,  whose  honor  had  been  compromised  through  find- 
ing the  epaulette  in  her  chamber. 


WON  BACK 

A PLAY  IN  FOUR  ACTS. 

By  CLIFTON  W.  TAYLEUR 

Six  male,  four  female,  characters.  A play  written  in  the  same  vein 
as  “Held  by  the  Enemy,”  “Shenandoah,”  “ Across  the  Potomac,”  and 
other  great  New  York  successes.  Mr.  Tavleur  has  written  many  suc- 
cessful plays  for  Maggie  Mitchell,  Frank  Chanfrau,  and  others,  but 
this  striking  picture  of  the  stirring  times  of  the  Great  Rebellion  sur- 
passes them  all.  Costumes,  civil  and  military  of  the  period.  Scenes, 
two  interiors,  and  one  landscape  with  Confederate  camp,  easily  man- 
aged. Time  of  playing,  two  hours  and  thirty  minutes. 

PRICE 25  CENTS. 


SYNOPSIS  OF  EVENTS. 

ACT  I. — Drawing-room,  Arlington,  Washington — 1860. 

“ Whom  first  we  love,  you  know,  we  seldom  wed ; 

Time  rules  us  all:  and  life  indeed  is  not 
The  thing  we  planned  it  out,  ere  hope  was  dead, 

And  then,  we  women  cannot  choose  our  lot.” 

In  fetters — The  rivals— North  and  South — The  coy  widow — A noted 
duelist— An  old  affection— The  dismissal — The  rivals  meet — “Yog 
shall  answer  for  this  ” — Farewell. 

ACT  II — Same  Scene— 1860. 

“ Who  might  have  been — Ah,  •what,  I dare  not  think  t 
We  all  are  changed.  God  judges  for  the  best* 

God  help  us  do  our  duty,  and  not  shrink, 

And  trust  in  Heaven  humbly  for  the  rest. 

Broken  tios — A Yassar  girTs  idea  of  matrimony — A Washington 
savage — Schooling  a lover — Affairs  of  honor — The  Northern  fire-eater— 
The  missing  challenge — Betrothed. 

ACT  III. — Drawing  room  in  New  York  Hotel — 1861, 

“ With  bayonets  slanted  in  the  glit*eciisg  light 
With  solemn  roll  of  drums. 

With  starlit  banners  rustling  wings  of  night. 

The  knightly  concourse  comes.  * 

To  arms  ! To  arms ! — Stand  by  the  flag — A woman’s  duty — A skirm- 
ish in  the  parlor — On  to  Richmond — Reunited — Tne  passing  regiment, 

ACT  IV. — Confederate  Camp  at  Winchester—  *864. 

“No  more  shall  the  war  cry  sever,  or  the  winding  river  be  red ; 

They  banish  our  anger  forever,  when  they  laurel  the  graves  of  onr 

A coward’s  armor — A hand  to  hand  struggle — Hugh  captured— Sen- 
tenced to  be  shot — A ministering  angel — Harold  King’s  revenge  -The 
attack  on  the  camp — Death  of  King — After  the  battle — Won  Bach 


^ny  address,  00  »ecetpt  of  prie® 


Single  copies  sent,  post-r‘ 


Just  Published 


A SOCIAL  OUTCAST. 

A DOMESTIC  DRAMA  IN  ONE  ACT, 

BY  CHAS.  TOWNSEND, 

Author  of  " Borderland,”  “ Broken  Fetters,”  “ Vacation,”  Etc, 

Three  male,  two  female  characters.  A capital  little  play,  printed 
from  the  author's  acting  copy  as  performed  under  his  management. 
**  Lawrence  Emmet,”  the  outcast  and  tramp,  and  “ Kenmore,”  the 
genteel  villain,  are  strong  characters ; the  two  female  characters, 
leading  lady  and  ingenue , also  being  excellent.  Fun  and  pathos  inter- 
mingled enlist  and  retain  the  attention  of  an  audience  from  beginning 
to  ends  Scene,  a nicely  furnished  reception  or  drawing  room. 
Costumes,  simple,  of  the  present  day.  Time  of  playing,  thirty  minutes. 

Price,  15  Cents. 


SYNOPSIS  OF  EVENTS. 


Genie  expresses  her  ideas  to  “ Kenmore  ” — Julia’s  birthday 
party — The  Judge  talks  politics— and  discloses  a secret — “ I am  not 
her  father!  ” — Emmet  appears  on  the  scene — “ Yer  aff,  there,  Guvnor  ” 
--Kenmore  devises  a scheme — “ I’d  rather  talk  dollars  ” — The  disguise 
detected— The  scheme  develops — Julia’s  distress—' “ Tell  me  it’s  not 
bue!”— Emmet  gets  a square  meal,  and  has  a talk  with  Genie— 
Ksnmore’s  scheme  seems  to  flourish,  but  his  offer  is  refused — “ A word 
from  me  and  back  he  goes  to  prison  ’’—The  letter  opened — “ My  own, 
own  child!” — Kenmore  finds  his  match — Emmet  throws  off  his  dis« 
guise—  The  Judge  makes  an  acknowledgment — Kenmore  discomfited 
My  own  father J ” — Tableau. 


Copies  sent,  postpaid,  to  any  address  on  receipt  of  the  pri&b 


HICK’RY  FARM 


ONE  OF  THE  BEST  PLAYS  EVER 
WRITTEN  FOR  AMATEURS 


A COMEDY  DRAMA  OF  NEW  ENGLAND  LIFE,  IN  TWO 
ACTS,  BY  EDWIN  M.  STERN. 

PRICE,  25  CENTS. 

Six  male,  two  female  characters.  This  play  deals  with  the  same 
phases  of  life  as  “The  Old  Homestead'’  and  “The  County  Fair,” 
and  is  written  111  the  same  comedy  vein  which  has  rendered  these  two 
pieces  so  popular.  The  courtship  of  the  Irish  alderman  is  one  of  the 
most  ludicrous  scenes  ever  written,  while  the  scenes  between  the  old 
farmer  and  his  daughter  are  most  touching  and  pathetic.  Scenery,  a 
set  cottage  and  a plain  room.  Costumes  of  the  day.  Time  of  play- 
ing, an  hour  and  a half. 


SYNOPSIS  OF  INCIDENTS. 

ACT  I. 

HICK'RY  FARM  HOUSE . 

Darkwood’s  Plot — Skinner  tempted— Money  ! Gold  ! — Zekiel  ap- 
pears— “Be  you  Ann  Maria’s  boy?” — Fortune’s  reminiscences — The 
deed  must  be  stolen  ! — Hard  cider — Aunt  Priscilla’s  love — The  alder- 
man’s brogue — “ Dear  departed  Hezekiah” — Jessie’s  secret — “ Then  you 
still  love  me?” — “Larry  McKeegan’s  courtin’” — The  “widdy”  suc- 
cumbs— “ Zekiel’s  fav’rit’  song  ” — McKeegan’s  ghost — J ack  Nelson  makes 
a discovery — Jessie  has  gone  ! — “ Heaven  help  me  !” — Zekiel’s  prayer. 

ACT  II. 

IN  FORTUNE'S  SHANTY. 

Zekiel’s  misfortunes — The  rent  collector — Darkwood’s  insult — “Vil- 
lain, you  lie  !” — Skinner’s  remorse — The  New  York  detective — The  bank 
robbery — Darkwood  threatens — Jessie  returns — The  alderman  married — 
“Sure  it’s  a darlint  little  woife  she  is” — Zekiel’s  happiness — “Gosh  ! I 
ain’t  felt  so  gol-darned  happy  sinct  I wuz  a boy  !” — A trap  for  Dark- 
wood — Jack  and  Jessie  reunited — Priscilla  pacified — Darkwood  at  bay — 
“ Stand  aside,  as  you  value  your  lives  ! ’’—The  detective  fires — “ You’ve 
done  for  me  this  time  !” — Zekiel’s  forgiveness — Old  Hick’ry  farm  restored. 

Copies  sent  post-paid,  to  any  address,  on  receipt  of  price. 


JOE  RUGGLES 

^ OR, 

THE  GIRL  MINER. 

A COMEDY-DRAMA  IN  FOUR  ACTS.  BY  FRANK  J.  DEAN. 

PRICE  35  CENTS. 

Nine  male,  three  female  characters.  A vigorous,  stirring  play,  de- 
picting peculiar  types  of  life  in  a large  city  and  in  the  mining  districts 
of  the  West.  The  parts  of  Joe  Ruggles,  the  miner,  Hans  Von  Bush 
(Dutch  dialect),  and  Richard  Hamilton,  the  scheming  villain,  all 
afford  opportunity  for  clever  work  $ while  the  part  of  Madge  (sou- 
b'rette),  who  afterwards  assumes  the  character  of  Mark  Lynch,  is  an 
excellent  one  for  a bright  young  actress.  This  last,  and  the  character 
of  Bessie  (juvenile)  could  easily  be  assumed  by  youths. 

Scenery — City  street,  showing  R.  R.  Station  $ rocky  pass,  with  set 
cabins  5 a wood  scene,  and  two  plain  interiors.  Costumes  of  the  day. 
Time  of  playing,  two  and  a half  hours. 


SYNOPSIS  OF  EVENTS. 

ACT  I. — Entrance  to  Railroad  Station, 

Looking  for  a victim— Joe  Ruggles— “ Them  galoots  is  worse  than  grizzlies 
“ Morning  papers  ’’—Madge  and  Bess  plying  their  trades—1 “ Can’t  you  sing  Joe  a 
song?”— Hamilton  and  his  pal  confer— Tom  Howartti  gains  important  informa- 
tion—" Don’t,  you  dare  to  lay  hands  on  us ! ’’—Hamilton  tries  to  maintain  his 
authority— “ Who ? Old  Joel” 

ACT  II.— Doomsday’s  Hotel,  Dare-devil’s  Gulch,  California, 

The  landlord  secures  a guest— Hans  disappointed— “ Dot  is  a misdake”— A 
ghost  story— The  “Kid  and  his  sister”— “ Did  I hurt  your  highness?”— Hans  and 
Doomsday  have  another  talk— Kate  Laurel  meets  the  young  miner— “ Yah,  dot 
vas  vot  I t’inks ’’—Madge’s  disguise  penetrated— She  recognizes  an  old  enemy— 
“Now,  George  Smith,  take  your  choice”— Joe  Ruggles  as  a tramp— “Ef  yer 
think  yer  can  pick  on  me  because  I’m  han’some  ye’ll  find  me  ter  hum  ’’—Hamil- 
ton appears— “ Those  two  youngsters  are  mine  ’’—The  tramp  takes  a hand. 

ACT  III.— Wood  Scene. 

A lively  ghost— Hamilton  and  Smith  plan  more  villainy— Old  Joe  thinks  of 
turning  detective— Kate  Laurel  again— “ There  is  a secret  connected  with  my 
life”— Kate’s  confession— “What  do  you  mean,  sir!  ’’—Torn  Howarth  once  more 
— “ Yos  you  looking  for  a hotel  ? ’’—Planning  an  abduction— Old  Joe  as  r a Irish- 
man—“ Phat  does  yez  want  wid  me?”— Undertakes  to  be  a detective'  Takes  a 
hand  in  the  abduction— “ Do  it  at  your  peril!  ” 

ACT  IV, 

Hans  hears,  and  tells,  the  latest  news— “I  nefer  pelieved  dot  spook  peesness” 
—Kate  Laurel  astonished— Hamilton  attempts  flight— “ De  poys  haf  got  Mr.  Ham- 
ilton, und  dey  vill  gif  him  a necktie  barty  ’’—Arrest  of  Smith— “ Get  out  mit  my 
vay,  I vas  de  Unided  States  Mail  ’’—Toni  meets  his  old  friend  under  new  circum- 
stances—“ Do  you  want  me,  Tom?  ’’—Old  Joe  gives  consent— A happy  ending. 


Single  copies  sent,  post-paid,  to  any  address,  on  receipt  of  price. 


HAGEMAN’S  MAKE=UP  BOOK. 


By  MAURICE  HAGEMAN. 

Authorof  “What  Became  of  Parker,”  “Prof.  Robinson,”  “Hector,”  “Mrs 
Mulcahy,”  “The  First  Kiss,”  “By  Telephone,”  “To  Rent,”  etc. 

Price,  25  cents. 

The  importance  of  an  effective  make-up  is  becoming  more  apparent  to 
the  professional  actor  every  year,  but  hitherto  there  has  been  no  book  on  the 
subject  describing  the  modern  methods  and  at  the  same  time  covering  all 
branches  of  the  art.  This  want  has  now  been  filled.  Mr.  Hageman  has  had 
an  experience  of  twenty  years  as  actor  and  stage-manager, and  his  well-known 
litei  ary  ability  has  enabled  him  to  put  the  knowledge  so  gained  into  shape 
to  be  of  use  to  others.  The  book  is  an  encyclopaedia  of  the  art  of  making  up. 
Every  branch  of  the  subject  is  exhaustively  treated,  and  few  questions  can 
be  asked  by  professional  or  amateur  that  cannot  be  answered  by  this  admira- 
ble hand-book.  It  is  not  only  the  best  make-up  book  ever  published,  but  it 
is  not  likely  to  be  superseded  by  any  other.  It  is  absolutely  indispensable 
to  every  ambitious  actor. 


CONTENTS. 

Chapter  I.  General  Remarks. 

Chapter  II.  Grease=Paints,  their  origin,  components  and  use. 

Chapter  III.  The  Make=up  Box.  Grease-Paints,  Mirrors,  Face  Powder  and 
Puff,  Exora  Cream,  Rouge,  Liquid  Color,  Grenadine,  Blue  for  the  Eyelids, 
Brilliantine  for  the  Hair,  Nose  Putty,  Wig  Paste,  Mascaro,  Crape  Hair, 
Spirit  Gum,  Scissors,  Artists’  Stomps,  Cold  Cream,  Cocoa  Butter,  Recipes  for 
Cold  Cream. 

Chapter  IV.  Preliminaries  before  Making  up;  the  Straight  Make»up 
and  how  to  remove  it. 

Chapter  V.  Remarks  to  Ladies.  Liquid  Creams,  Rouge,  Lips,  Eyebrows, 
Eyelashes,  Character  Roles,  Jewelry,  Removing  Make-up. 

Chapter  VI.  Juveniles.  Straight  Juvenile  Make-up,  Society  Men, 
Young  Men  in  111  Health,  with  Red  Wigs,  Rococo  Make-up,  Hands,  Wrists, 
Cheeks,  etc. 

Chapter  VII.  Adults,  Middle  Aged,  and  Old  Men.  Ordinary  Type  of 
Manhood,  Lining  Colors,  Wrinkles,  Rouge,  Sickly  and  Healthy  Old  Age. 
Ruddy  Complexions. 

Chapter  VIII.  Comedy  and  Character  Make=ups.  Comedy  Effects, 
Wigs,  Beards,  Eyebrows,  Noses,  Lips,  Pallor  of  Death. 

Chapter  IX.  The  Human  Features.  The  Mouth  and  Lips,  the  Eyes  and 
Eyelids,  the  Nose,  the  Chin,  the  Ear,  the  Teeth. 

Chapter  X.  Other  Exposed  Parts  of  the  Human  Anatomy. 

Chapter  XI.  Wigs,  Beards,  Moustaches,  and  Eyebrows.  Choosing 
a Wig,  Powdering  the  Hair,  Dimensions  for  Wigs,  Wig  Bands,  Bald  Wigs, 
Ladies’  Wigs,  Beards  on  Wire,  on  Gauze,  Crape  Hair,  Wool,  Beards  for 
Tramps,  Moustaches,  Eyebrows. 

Chapter  XII.  Distinctive  and  Traditional  Characteristics.  North 
American  Indians,  New  England  Farmers,  Hoosiers,  Southerners,  Politicians. 
Cowboys,  Miners,  Quakers,  Tramps,  Creoles,  Mulatoes,  Quadroons,  Octo- 
roons, Xegroes,  Soldiers  during  War,  Soldiers  during  Peace,  Scouts,  Path- 
finders, Puritans,  Early  Dutch  Settlers,  Englishmen,  Scotchmen,  Irishmen, 
Frenchmen,  Italians,  Spaniards,  Portuguese,  South  Americans,  Scandina- 
vians, Germans,  Hollanders,  Hungarians,  Gipsies,  Russians,  Turks,  Arabs, 
Moors,  Cattirs,  Abyssinians,  Hindoos,  Malays,  Chinese,  Japanese,  Clowns  and 
Statuary,  Hebrews,  Drunkards,  Lunatics,  Idiots,  Misers,  Rogues. 

Address  Orders  to 

THE  DRAMATIC  PUBLISHING  COMPANY, 

CHICAGO,  ILLINOIS. 


PLAYS. 

BEING  the  largest  theatrical  booksellers  in 
the  United  States,  we  keep  in  stock  the  most 
complete  and  best  assorted  lines  of  plays  and 
entertainment  books  to  be  found  in  this  country. 

We  can  supply  any  play  or  book  pub- 
lished. We  have  issued  a 144-page  catalogue 
of  the  best  1500  plays  and  entertainment  books 
published  in  the  U.  S.  and  England.  It  con- 
tains a full  description  of  each  play,  giving 
number  of  characters,  time  of  playing,  scenery, 
costumes,  etc.  This  catalogue  will  be  sent  free 
on  application. 

The  plays  described  are  suitable  for  am- 
ateurs and  professionals,  and  nearly  all  of  them 
may  be  performed  free  of  royalty.  Persons  in- 
terested in  dramatic  books  should  examine  out 
catalogue  before  ordering  elsewhere. 

The  Dramatic  Publishing  Company, 


CHICAGO. 


